


A confession letter

by komaedaonthenintendods



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Feelings, Jealous Tsukishima Kei, Jealousy, Letters, M/M, feelings are complicated, i just like writing about feelings, theres not quite a plot here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29522649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/komaedaonthenintendods/pseuds/komaedaonthenintendods
Summary: Tsukishima writes a letter to Yamaguchi to reveal his feelings. But this is no love confession.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 17





	A confession letter

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! I really like this style of writing. This reads like a literal letter, so enjoy it!!

Dear Yamaguchi,

All my life I've been taught to hate this feeling, if I ever felt it, to repel it as fast as I could. I guess they weren´t inherently wrong. It's rather painful to feel it. And I think it might feel suffocating, both for me and you.

Truly, jealousy is a toxic feeling. But unfortunately, it's not only natural for humans, as it can be a trait, a personality trait, to specify more.  
Every time I see you interact with someone else I always wonder if there's a second intention in those interactions. Logically, there isn't. People can simply be friends, right?

But I want you just for me. And it's disgusting, I feel disgusting. This obsession feels likes it's just trapping me. I just wanna love you like any normal person. Love should just be happy feelings. Why would it have such a hideous side to it?

But I guess that just proves how real it is. If it was just happiness, it wouldn't be a true feeling. It would be a distraction, an escape from a gloomy reality. My love is only real because there's more to it. It's complicated because it's real.  
So, if it can be painful, is it really worth it? The truth is even if it isn't worth it, I can't stop myself from doing it.

Doing it?  
Loving you, I guess.

So even if I wanted, I can't control jealousy, because I can't control how I love you. But bottling it up is probably not the awsner. It feels easier, but it isn't. Both bottling up and opening up are difficult. Opening up just takes more courage, and too many people lack it.

Courage for what?  
The courage to face the possible rejection of those feelings, and by rule, rejection of the one feeling jealousy. No one wants to admit they are jealous. It's seen as ugly. And it can be ugly, it can become an obsession, a dangerous one. So everyone naturally rejects it. Rejects it because of the fear of becoming a suffocating obsession.

But people assume the feeling by itself is suffocating. So, a series of misunderstoods, becomes taboo.

Maybe if people learned to deal with it, it would be less dangerous.  
But it's easier to reject. "Just don't think about it! It will disappear one day!" I wanna convince myself. I'm not exactly wrong. It might go away! But it won't if I just keep repressing my thoughts. If I just hide jealousy, it will eventually explode. I mean, I'm not afraid of me blowing up with it. The problem is that you will probably blow away too. And that's my fear.  
So, because I love you, I think this might be the best way to tell you. It's a bit less terrifying like this.

Sincerely, your lover  
Tsukishima Kei.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to know some thought and critiques to this fic, since it's the first time I'm posting my actual writing style here.


End file.
